Neko

Gone Fishing

Here are some of the hazards of fishing.





Jokes, Memes, Stick Figure, Fishing

TechnoBlogger @ 5:17 PM 0 comments

Sunday Satire

POLITICALLY CORRECT SEASONS GREETINGS

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes
For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemisphere
summer solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the
religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice,
with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all. And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2005,
but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures
whose contributions to society have helped make our country great, and
without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability,
religious faith, sexual orientation or choice of computer platform and
operating system of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

1. The greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
2. It is freely transferable with no alteration the original greeting.
3. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the
wishes for her/himself or others.
4. It is void where prohibited by law, and
5. It is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected with the usual application
of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer:
The color blue has not intentionally been omitted from this season.
Blue has never applied for recognition as an official colour of this
particular holiday observance and I neither oppose nor endorse the
use of the color blue.

Sunday Satire, Jokes, Seasons Greetings, Politically Correct Greeting

TechnoBlogger @ 7:54 AM 0 comments

Picto-puzzle 5

Can you solve the puzzle? Leave your comment with the answer!

TechnoBlogger @ 4:33 PM 1 comments

Fun Facts For Friday

- You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

- Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

- The dust in your house is mostly made up of dead skin.

- Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

- The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.

- Almonds are a member of the peach family.

- All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

- There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

- A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

- Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

- A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

Fun Facts For Friday

TechnoBlogger @ 2:57 PM 0 comments

Thursday's 13 Ways to Annoy People during a Conversation

1. Stare at the person's nose while they are talking.

2. Repeat everything the person said before responding.

3. Ask the person to repeat themselves constantly.

4. Walk in circles around the person as you talk.

5. Make random hand gestures, like pointing at the person's feet.

6. Stick out your tongue when the person isn't looking.

7. Use a different name every time you refer to the person.

8. Start dancing for no apparent reason.

9. Blink your eyes one at a time.

10. Switch languages now and then. If you only know one, make up words.

11. Bring up things that have nothing to do with your what you're talking about.

12. When the person is about to make their point, seem completely uninterested.

13. No matter what the person you're talking to says, respond with "And then...".


Well, that's today's "Thursday Thirteen". I hoped it annoyed you at least a little! :-|

TechnoBlogger @ 3:44 PM 0 comments

Disappearing Car

Watch as the car disappears behind the trees. Where did it go?

TechnoBlogger @ 8:51 AM 0 comments

Stick Figure Abuse

TechnoBlogger @ 11:09 PM 0 comments

Sunday Satire

Here's the top ten things that would be different if Microsoft built cars:

1. A Particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year, instead of before.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

3. Occassionally your car would just die for no reason and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.

4. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bought a car '95 or a car NT, but then you would have to buy more seats.

5. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a second, it's that way NOW!

6. Sun Microsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, alternator, gas, and engine warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

8. People would get excited about the new features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.

9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.

10. Ford, General Motors, and Chrylser would all be complaining because Microsoft was putting radios in all its models.

Sunday Satire, Jokes, Computers, Microsoft, Cars

TechnoBlogger @ 10:31 AM 1 comments

Picto-puzzle 4

Can you solve the puzzle? Leave your comment with the answer!

TechnoBlogger @ 3:37 PM 1 comments

Fun Facts For Friday

- At lift off, space shuttles weight about 4.5 million pounds.

- Bill Gates house was partially designed using a Macintosh computer.

- Nintendo was first establish in 1889 and they started out making special playing cards.

- The IRS employees tax manual has instructions for collecting taxes after a nuclear war.

- Butterflies taste with their feet.

- Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

- A snail can sleep for three years.

- Thirty-five percent of people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

- On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens each year.

- Everyday, U.S. business use enough paper to circle the Earth over 20 times.

Fun Facts For Friday

TechnoBlogger @ 10:32 AM 0 comments

Thursday's 13 Peeves & Oddities

1. Name your dog "D.O.G.", your cat "Pussy", or any other pet "Peeve"!

2. A sneeze leaves your mouth a 100 miles per hour!

3. Walt Disney was afraid of mice!

4. Americans choke on toothpicks more that anything else.

5. The man who played the voice of Bugs Bunny was allergic to carrots.

6. Da Vinci spent 12 years painting Mona Lisa's lips.

7. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

8. Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women.

9. Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years.

10. Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.

11. In Seattle, Washington it is illegal to sell lollipops. Suckers are fine.

12. It is illegal to walk across the street on your hands in Connecticut

13. Cleveland, Ohio- It is illegal to capture mice without a hunting license.


And that's this week's "Thursday Thirteen"!

TechnoBlogger @ 6:17 PM 0 comments

Internet Health

Browsing the internet can lead to health problems. So, in the interest of internet health, let's exercise!

TechnoBlogger @ 6:55 PM 0 comments

How about a hand, with the suntan lotion?

 

TechnoBlogger @ 3:04 PM 0 comments

Sunday Satire

Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yesterday the introduction of a new product for Windows Vista: Microsoft Panhandling.

"The idea came to me the other day when a homeless man asked me for money," recalls Gates. "I suddenly realized that we were missing a golden opportunity. Here was a chance to make a profit without any initial monetary investment. Naturally, this man then became my competition, so I had my limo driver run over him several times."

Microsoft engineers have been working around the clock to complete Gates' vision of panhandling for the 21st century.

"We feel that our program designers really understand how the poor and needy situation works," says Microsoft Homeless product leader Bernard Liu. "Except for the fact that they're stinking rich."

Microsoft Panhandling will be automatically installed with Windows Vista. At random intervals, a dialog box pops up, asking the user if they could spare any change so that Microsoft has enough money to get a hot meal. ("This is a little lie," admits software engineer Adam Miller, "since our diet consists of Coke and Twinkies, but what panhandler doesn't embellish a little?") The user can click Yes, in which case a random amount of change between $.05 and $142.50 is transferred from the user's bank account to Microsoft's. The user can also respond No, in which case the program politely tells the user to have a nice day. The "No" button has not yet been implemented.

"We're experiencing a little trouble programming the No button," Bernard Liu says, "but we should definitely have it up and running within the next couple of years. Or at least by the time the next Windows system comes out in 2014. Maybe."

Gates says this is just the start of an entire line of products.

"Be on the lookout for products like Microsoft Mugging, which either takes $50 or erases your hard drive, and Microsoft Squeegee Guy, which will clean up your Windows for a dollar." (When Microsoft Squeegee Guy ships, Windows Vista will no longer automatically refresh your windows.)

Sunday Satire, Jokes, Computers, Microsoft, Vista

TechnoBlogger @ 6:47 AM 0 comments

Picto-puzzle 3

Can you solve the puzzle? Leave your comment with the answer!

TechnoBlogger @ 11:55 PM 3 comments

Fun Facts For Friday

- In 1989, the space shuttle Discovery carried 32 fertilized chicken eggs into orbit.

- The average day is actually only 23 hours and 56 minutes.

- The space shuttle Discovery can accelerate to a speed of 27,000 kilometres per hour in just eight minutes.

- It takes eight and a half minutes for light to get from the sun to earth.

- A jiffy is an actual unit of time! It's 1/100th of a second.

- In Australia, a dust-devil is called a "willy-willy."

- There is a large brass statue of Winnie-the-Pooh in Lima, Peru.

- Scatologists are experts who study feces. (aka. crap, dung, dookie, dumps, feces, excrement, etc.)

- In China, September 20 is "Love Your Teeth Day."

- Fires onland generally move faster uphill than downhill.

- Being unmarried can shorten a man's life by ten years.

Fun Facts For Friday

TechnoBlogger @ 4:55 AM 0 comments

Thursday's 13 Smiley Expressions

Here's this week's "Thursday Thirteen"!

1. It's gonna cost how much!!

2. Oh! First I turn off the power. Then I can touch the wires.

3. I'll beat this game if it's the last thing I do!

4. That's the biggest I've ever seen!

5. I'll give you a fatal error!!

6. Don't sneak up on me like that!

7. So. You want my wallet, huh?

8. I don't know why we were in bed together.

9. I won!!!!!

10. Hi. How's it going?

11. Now that's a catchy tune!

12. Riga-fricken traffic!

13. Now that's more like it!

TechnoBlogger @ 4:47 PM 0 comments

Today's MEMo

Do you know your ABCs?

Anger Breeds Contempt.
Always Blink Constantly!
After Before Concurrent.
Any Blog Content?
Always Bring Cash!

What ABCs can you think of?

TechnoBlogger @ 7:44 PM 0 comments

Don't bother the cat in the top left corner

If you click Neko it will chase your mouse around the screen!

TechnoBlogger @ 5:18 PM 0 comments

Sunday Satire

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and much cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop masturbating, your tennis elbow will never get better.

Sunday Satire, Jokes, Computers

TechnoBlogger @ 9:40 PM 0 comments

Picto-puzzle 2

Can you solve the puzzle? Leave your comment with the answer!

TechnoBlogger @ 4:11 PM 1 comments

Fun Facts For Friday

- A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

- A duck's quack doesn't echo.

- On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

- It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow. Don't think so? Click here.

- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

- A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

- Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

- Polar bears are left-handed.

- The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

- Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

- Apples, not caffeine, are better at waking you up in the morning.

Fun Facts For Friday

TechnoBlogger @ 2:42 PM 0 comments

Thursday's 13 Ways to waste time on the internet

1. Type in a random URL and go! You'd be surprised at some of the website names out there! www.supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.com

2. Join in the hunt for a buried Volvo, here.

3. Play a rousing game of follow-the-linker!

4. Highlight this text to see what it says.

5. Add your location to the Google Earth Community, so anyone can pinpoint you on the globe using Google Earth!

6. Hop on one foot and tap your head while reading this!

7. Check out some flash games here.

8.


9.

10. Leave a comment here about your favorite thing that is blue.

11. Read the rest of a list of things to do, suggested on a blog, written by a bored person, for no particular reason other than that you are bored.

12. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on someone's roadmaps.

13. Get some advice from a ninja on YouTube



Well, that's today's "Thursday Thirteen". For those of you reading this far, congratulations! You must really be bored! :)

TechnoBlogger @ 7:01 PM 0 comments

Random Brain Farts - Please excuse my flatulence

07/07/2006 - Have you hugged your blog today?
07/06/2006 - Today is going to be tomorrow once it's yesterday.

TechnoBlogger @ 9:59 AM 0 comments

Reality of the Unreal

Puzzle

How many legs does this elephant have?

TechnoBlogger @ 11:57 AM 0 comments

POTC Dead Man's Chest Hunt!

POTC - Find the Volvo XC90 that Volvo buried and you can keep it! Inspired by Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Click here to learn more!

TechnoBlogger @ 3:41 AM 0 comments

Diet Coke & Mentos

Do you know what Diet Coke & Mentos have in common? Check this out! You can make a "fountain" from this combination!

TechnoBlogger @ 12:52 AM 0 comments

A truly fun time-waster

If you haven't already, check out Vector Park! The Levers game can be fun and challenging!

TechnoBlogger @ 10:22 PM 0 comments

How to Explode Blog Traffic!

Here's an interesting read for all you bloggers! Click here to read the original article that inspired this post.


Want to increase your blog traffic? Start by coming up with a catchy name and description for your site. Try to think up something that describes your what your site offers. And most of all, add content to your blog! Write posts, tell a story, tell a joke, and add pictures. Add posts about things that you want to share with others.
Advertise your site any way you can by trading links with other interesting sites, leaving comments with your site link when you read articles that you enjoyed, and basically getting the word out about your site. You can also add your site link to your emails, signup with sites that show off your blog (like Technorati), and submit your site to search engines.
Lastly, be as original as you are! Everyone has a unique perspective on the world, so share that uniqueness with the world by being yourself!

TechnoBlogger @ 9:23 PM 0 comments

Picto-puzzle 1

Can you solve the puzzle? Leave your comment with the answer!

TechnoBlogger @ 6:33 PM 2 comments